Dear Friends,
This morning, as the 18oz-lighter Body parted water with vigour, I realized that my morning swim and steam room routine will be greatly missed, once school starts.
12:45 - left home for TMJ clinic
16:30 - since already downtown, met a friend for drinks
While sipping my 9 oz Merlot, in slow motion, to make it last forever, I gave my listener a full account of last weekend. As a variety of emotions surfaced, I could taste cortisol rising from my guts, blending in with the sweet taste of wine, and then taking up residency in my midriff.
Tonight, since Body is functioning painlessly, Mind has become more eager to tackle the rest of our compartmentalized life. Our relationship with the father of the boys came up first for reviewal. It seems that, family has left the family gatherings. Mind believes he might be under the impression that his gifts (some larger than a bottle of wine) entitle him to take pictures of my cleavage when I bend down to fasten my granddaughters' shoes. When I mentioned to my mother that grandpa has crossed the line, she said I should be flattered. However, even 59-year-old Vanity, a freelance crowd pleaser, can't find being sexualized, while attending to her grandchildren, complimentary.
Mind feels pressured to make a decision; regain self-respect by disconnecting, damaging family ties, or redefine self-respect and remain indifferent to an old, familiar aggressor's assaults.
After much deliberation, the reasonable, logical, fair Mind realized that we are not as manipulative and calculating as we thought we could be. Refusing all gifts (incentives to tolerate a man long forgotten but never forgiven), is the only solution. However, we are not rushing to make a decision, yet.
20 days left to see where the chips may fall
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