Troubled Chi

Dear Friends,

When I was living my old little life, minding my own business (Before Bill 115), every so often, I welcomed a painless, relaxing massage. Lately, I have seen more of the masseurs, than my own children.

Yesterday afternoon, Dmitri was not available, so I took my aching body to Jason, not as tall and fetching as Dmitri, but much more knowledgeable!                              

As soon as he took possession of my big toes and heard me scream, I learnt that all my internal organs are malfunctioning. Apparently, at every turn, knots, that I call missed deadlines, forgotten paperwork, misplaced records and Bill 115 have blocked my chi!

An excruciating hour later, as I put Jason’s hefty bill next to my physiotherapy and night guard receipts, I realized the government’s “master saving plan” is devaluing me in every imaginable way. Perhaps at this point, retirement is the most cost-effective lifesaver! Although I must say, the logic of living on “fixed income” at the time of deterioration has always escaped me.  And, I’m not even into scalpels or needles.

Unfortunately, my last year’s “gratitude attitude” has turned a deaf ear to my pleas to return and save my soul. Thus, I have no choice but to put myself back on the market for a daddy. With what's left of me, I’ll have to forgo the sugar. Accepted and filed!

What have you accepted and filed, today?

Wicket Witches

Dear Friends,

As I was clearing the living room floor and putting back what my granddaughters had deemed worthy of their attention, I picked up a button that reads, Respect Teachers, Respect Collective Bargaining. Every morning, I take out this button and contemplate wearing it, but then I put it back as if it were my grandmother’s antic diamond and ruby brooch. 

I don’t wear my grandmother’s brooch because I’m afraid of losing it. I don’t advertise my job because I’m afraid - period.

I know I’m not alone. The day we went to vote, we enthusiastically grabbed these buttons and pinned them on, but at the end of the day, we discretely took them off and “Houdinied” them in our bags and pockets. We didn’t want to provoke altercations or confrontations in “public.” We were anxious, felt threatened, afraid of being who we are.

With teachers making the front page of the Toronto Star, again and again, to say this is a challenging year for Ontario teachers, is a huge understatement.

Bill 115, media propaganda, public's hostility and the seesawing between the union and the board, have reduced us to fleeing shadows, just like ghosts. So much pressure, struggle, animosity! Has it dawned on anyone yet that we are made of flesh and nerves too? 
Why doesn't the government give us back our rights and put students first? Why don't parents go to Queen's Park and advocate for teachers, putting their children first? It's not really about the children, is it? It's about power and control! And somehow, it has been decided that it's ok for us to give them up.

There was a time when the westerners working in developing countries, received a separate allowance called “savagery dues” in Farsi. Since the air we breathe is poisonous and the words we hear menacing, we should demand "abuse-allowance."  

There sure is a which-hunt going on in Ontario. And, I am one of the wicket witches! With all these monsters and goblins on my already hunched back, it’s going to be a tedious Halloween! Accepted and filed! What have you accepted and filed today?

Cash Flow

Dear Friends,

It seems I’m not the only one preoccupied with money these days. 

A few weeks ago the New Yorker played host to it, last night it was the topic of discussion on the Agenda with Steve Paikin, and this afternoon, out of nowhere, it popped up at the mall.

On my way to my appointment with Dmitri, my masseur, I ran into an old acquaintance. Once she found out where I was headed, with the most affected tone of voice she said: “Oh, I don’t spend money on these things, I tell my husband to give me a back-rub!”

Well, not only she “massage shamed" me but she also “single shamed" me! I walked away, congratulating myself for never having taken to her.

My mother says if I hadn’t moved so often I would’ve had at least a million by now. She is probably right! However, every time I moved, I turned the wheels of economy in Ontario. From the real estate agents, moving and cleaning companies, painters, carpenters and handymen, to furniture, drapery and accessory stores, they were all grateful!   

Since I have stopped moving, I spend my money on "things" that more than a few consider unnecessary or frivolous such as hair, nails, clothes, restaurants, take-out and general well being that includes Dmitri.  

My money circulates. Cash hoarders barricade financial mobility. I don’t understand why people who have decided to freeze, and later reduce my salary do not appreciate my philosophy. Don’t they see how my future penny-pinching is going to affect others?

While I was listening to Michael Sandel the author of What Money Can’t Buy say that money, turning citizens into consumers is devaluating human relationships, I had an epiphany!

How about, a few talented, electronically savvy people create and run a skillsmatch.com site?  

Here is my add; A charming fashion consultant, event planner, decorator, chef, French tutor, babysitter and speech writer seeks a competent masseur, chiropractor, personal trainer, handyman, plumber, driver and esthetician.

However, with all the weirdoes out there, skillsmatch.com is not a safe idea, although it has the potential to become an amazing Reality Show!

We can't really stop money from buying everything that it can - accepted and filed!

What have you accepted and filed today?

Ashes

Dear Friends,

The following story made me think that as long as we believe in spirits, we will honour our deceased’s last wishes, or do as we think they might have liked.   

According to an article in yesterday's Toronto Star, a few years ago, the Canadian government granted asylum to a Chinese woman who was a victim of religious persecution in her homeland. Before becoming a permanent resident, she died of cancer.  Three years later, her children still cannot fulfill their mother’s wish, and take her ashes back to China because the Immigration Office has lost her Chinese ID.

Once I got over the sadness of the story, the “Columbo” in me detected some bizarreness in it. 

How can only one piece of paper disappear from a file full of documents? Doesn't children's birth-certificate prove the name and the nationality of their mother? If the Chinese government knew the person well enough to persecute her, why does it need proof of her citizenship? With or without an ID, can this voyage take place at all? I’m not sure about China, but some countries don’t take well to the defector’s return, especially in an urn or a box.  

While mulling these questions in my head, wishing the court reporter had written a multifaceted piece instead, the Canadian in me felt a bit offended!

Being an expatriate myself, I pondered where I would like to see Me rest in peace. Only one answer came to mind – Ontario!

If this land was good enough to take me in, it sure is good enough to hold me in, eternally.

I suppose, after all, home is where the ashes are - accepted and filed!

What have you accepted and filed, today?