Fantasy

Dear Friends,

"You look, tired, old! Just because you are a grandma, it doesn't mean you have to look it!" Such was my mother's reaction to a picture of me with my granddaughters! Obviously, she has very little knowledge of my life. 

My ex-husband, the grandfather, who took the picture, sent both me and my mother a copy. I personally like the picture. It's natural, serene. The three of us, with me in the middle, are cuddled up under the blanket, intensely watching Angelina Ballerina! 

"Check your thyroid, if you are always tired." My mother continued, concerned. "And your hair is too grey!" She concluded, before wishing me a nice weekend!  

After I put the phone down, I went to reexamine the picture. Mother does know best! I look old, tired and even sad! And my hair is too grey, as if grey does really have fifty shades! 

It was a rude awakening! 

I was always under the false impression that fame and fortune will replace my youth and looks. You can only imagine my devastation now, that I realize the departure of one doesn’t necessarily spell the arrival of the other. No abundance, no social acknowledgement, no professional recognition! 

As I push my anonymous little old self out the door, day after day, to earn a living, I question the source of my preposterous assumption, in vain.

Sometimes I have to wonder about this “road less travelled” that I keep taking, over and over again! I couldn't have stayed a housewife like all other women in my family! 

Along with my youth and looks, there they go sailing on the back of Bill 115, my professional integrity, present standard of living, and decent pension. Accepted and filed!

What have you accepted and filed today?